Wednesday, December 12, 2007

TT# 15: Books Never Written

Cleaning out my ancient emails the other day, I found a "conversation" with several friends where we had exchanged ideas for silly book titles and sillier authors. I think I remember something like this going around when I was a kid. Here are thirteen of the ones we came up with, including the ones that came in the original forward that got us started.

How to Write Big Books, by Warren Peace

I Lost My Balance, by Eileen Dover and Phil Down

The German Bank Robbery, by Hans Zupp

I Hate the Sun, by Gladys Knight

Prison Security, by Barb Dwyer

How I Won the Marathon, by Randy Holeway

The Lion Attacked, by Claude Yarmoff

Take This Job and Shove it, by Ike Witt

How to Say No, by Ida Wahna

Scaling the Empire State Building, by I.M. Skaird

The Art of Skyscraper Acrobatics, by Howie Duzzit Idunowe

Cowboy Cooking, by Chuck Waggon

A History of the Mennonites in Siberia, edited by Wiebe, Friesen, Fast

[These last author names are real names, by the way, and they are also the punch line to a local joke which is: "What do you call three Mennonites in a snow bank?" When you pronounce them correctly the answer sounds like "We be freezin' fast!]

And now, how about you? Do you have any ideas for imaginary books written by non-existent authors? I'd love to hear them!

20 comments:

Leah said...

Those are really funny. I am trying to think of one...
author: I.M. Stump
title: Wordless Book

http://www.mga-munimuni.info/

Not Afraid to Use It said...

I can't think of any, myself, but these are hilarious!! Love it! Thanks for stopping by my place!

Robin said...

Very funny :).

Coco said...

Hahahha... the How to say No one is too funny! :)

Malcolm said...

I love wordplay humor like this. It reminds me of some of the Three Stooges movies when they would visit a law firm (usu. called something like I. Cheatham & Howe).

colleen said...

These are fun! I'll have to think more about it. All I can think of is the ones we joked about when we were kids like "Yellow River" by I. P. Daily.

Rian Fike said...

Oh my, that is classic. I bet your list gets spread far and wide over the interwebs.

Bravo.

How about...

It Could Have Been You

by Annie Wan Atoll

Anonymous said...

I cannot think of any but those were absolutely great!!

~Tyra~ said...

These were great!!!

My Busy Life said...

LMAO! Great list! I loved them all. I am up too.

Norma said...

This is terrific. I love it. Thanks for stopping by my TT on Christmas stress.

pjazzypar said...

Now that was funny and clever. Happy TT.

Nicholas said...

Funny list! Thank you.

Lori said...

What great ideas....when are you gonna start writing?? lol...Happy TT and thanks for stopping by.

Anonymous said...

A bit like Colleen's, the only one I can think of is 'Flood in the Bathroom' by I.P. Squint. Really funny TT. Thanks for the laugh!
Lives Less Ordinary

Marilyn said...

I'm not good at this, but I have to give it a shot.

How to Lose Weight In Your Sleep by Phat T. Snoozer

Anonymous said...

LMAO! I LOVED this list!

You know I can appreciate good humor! THANKS! happy belated tt! xoxo

Ice Cream said...

I don't have the brain power to think of any right now. But these are brilliant! Thanks for the giggles.

orneryswife said...

That was a great list. I enjoyed it a lot!
TM

Unknown said...

Hilarious.