Thursday, January 31, 2008


A while back I bought and read the book "17 Lies That Are Holding You Back, And The Truth That Will Set You Free" by Steve Chandler. It's a great book that points out many lies that we tell ourselves, or find ourselves believing, and dismantles them with the truth. Here are 12 of the 17 lies from the book, and one truth.

LIE-- It's Who You Know: "Everyone says, 'It's who you know.' But it's not who you know. That's a lie. The truth is that it's wht you do....In the world of success, who you know is nothing. The doing is the thing that brings success." {pg. 27}

LIE-- There's Something Wrong With Me: "You've failed at some things, but there is nothing wrong with you. You are not defective. Not in any way whatsoever. It takes courage to hold on to this truth. But once you learn to hold on to it, it will give you your life back." {pg.44}

LIE-- I'm Too Old For That: "It's not your age that determines what you can learn, it's your energy. Your energy does not depend on your age, it depends on your sense of purpose." {pg. 51}

LIE-- I Can't Because I'm Afraid: "The truth is that every human has as much courage as the current purpose requires. Courage is always in us, like a heartbeat, like a breath. It's in all of us in equal measure." {pg. 65}

LIE-- I'm Sadder Now But Wiser: "It is simply not true that sadder and wiser are related to each other!...The real truth is that the wiser you are, the happier you get. Because wisdom does that. If one is becoming sadder, it's not because one is becoming wise, it is because one is quitting." {pg. 99, 100}

LIE-- The Longer I Have A Habit, The Harder It Is To Break: "Whether I've had my habit for two years or twenty years, the process is exactly the same. How long I've been doing something means nothing. The action I take to create a new self-perception means everything." {pg. 112}

LIE-- People Really Upset Me: "To say that someone upset me is a lie I'm telling myself. Because I could, if I wanted to, choose not to be upset. The reason I don't want to choose that is because it's easier to feel than to think...The lie is that she upsets me. The truth is that I can respond to her any way I want." {pg. 124}

LIE-- Winning The Lottery Would Solve Everything: "The reason that unexpected horrors fall upon so many lottery winners is that they have tried to equate their discipline problems with money problems. They tell themselves that money is the answer when it's not. The answer is action.... (P)eople could win the lottery, or theycould lose their legs.The two events would have the same effect on their happines in life. I think that proves that happiness is a separate thing. It's totally separate from outside events, good or bad. It's an internal adventure, and it's based on our ability to grow a sense of purpose that we can fulfill." {pg. 133, 134}

LIE-- You Hurt My Self-Esteem: "Self-esteem is a result of our own opinion of our own actions. There is no limit to the actions we can take. Even if the actions initially fail to get an immediate result, self-esteem can increase, just from taking the action! Self-esteem is always related to action, to what we do, not to what people think of what we do." {pg, 149-150}

LIE-- It's A Shame We Didn't Capture That On Video: "(T)o me, it's not really a shame that I didn't capture the past on video. It's a shame when I do not capture the present. That's the only true shame." {pg. 161}

LIE-- That's Just The Way I Am: " Selling myself on 'the way I am' keeps me locked in my own fearful childhood. I become heavy with a false claim of permanent personality... Self-imposed immaturity is when we deliberately lie to ourseles and become frightened children in the face of adult challenges, instead of becoming brave men and women who are simply challenged by the tasks ahead." {pg. 169, 170}

LIE-- What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Stronger: The truth is, it just kills me! (That's my personal summary of the lie Steve presents. I'd like to quote the entire chapter here, there's such good stuff in it about the banality and death that is addiction.)

TRUTH-- "Look, you can stop lying to yourself any time you want. Your past is your past. You have a choice. You can live out your past. Act it out. Reenact it everywhere you go. Or you can create your future. It's up to you. But I think it's time you start creating the life you want. {pg. 224}


PrayerMom said...

That's a very thought-provoking book. I think I read it about a year ago.

#2 has been my life's work these last few years. I see changes in my attitude that have come from rethinking life through Jesus' response to the Pharisees' criticism in John 8:14--I know where I've come from, and know where I'm going. If you don't get it, it doesn't stop me from being or going. Is. 51:12 says, "I, even I, am he who comforts you.
Who are you that you fear mortal men,
the sons of men, who are but grass..."

DrillerAA said...

Excellent list.
I'm not sure I agree with his assessment of a habit. It does take action and a habit that we have developed over a long time frame may take stronger action to resolve.

Hav a great TT

maggie's mind said...

I'm not sure I agree with all of them, but all are definitely thought provoking, and that's got to be a good thing! I do like the idea in the second one that mistakes I've made are not the sum total of who I am.

Karen said...

These are terrific. I'm going to have to check that book out very soon. Thanks for the heads up.

Lisa said...

Wow, that 13 makes me want to go out and read that book! Adding it to my list of Must Reads!

Happy TT!

Norma said...

This is a great summary. Thanks for sharing. I know most of these lies--have even tried them, but it is always good to be reminded.

My TT is up.

Suzanne said...

Great Inspiration. These really make you think about all the different quotes you hear all the time.

Andi & Stien said...

What an insightful list! Thanks, #13 really is encouraging :-)

Happy TT!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Most of these are very good. I must say that while he is right about what we do making our success I have to say that it is who you know that often gives you the chance to do something successful, at least 50% of the time anyway.

Another brilliant book that dispells a lot of self created myths about ourselves is the book: Bonds That Make Us Free.

Ornery's Wife said...

Excellent. Sounds like my kind of book! TM

Nicholas said...

Maybe it's not entirely what helps you, but who you know certainly is a great advantage.