Wednesday, October 10, 2007

We Did Too

Last weekend we went to a wedding four and a half hours away from home. It really was not an especially convenient trip, but I wanted to make the effort, to encourage the relative whose wedding it was. She had joyfully sent out cards over a year ago announcing that she and her boyfriend had moved in together. So when they decided to officially tie the knot, we wanted to take a stand in favor of the decision; which we did by driving many miles using very expensive gasoline and buying a more expensive gift than we usually do for a wedding, and pretty much giving them our entire weekend.

Since we were dragging our two teenage boys along (to make a family bonding experience) we left home several hours earlier than necessary, to have time to add a little fun shopping on the way.

After our stops, we pulled for our destination, and I sat in the back of the van making sandwiches and passing out apples and cookies. When we were done eating, I laid down and fell asleep. A little later I woke up and made my way to my co-pilot's seat. About that time MB3 was looking at the map and commenting on a town name, and I said, "Oh, that' s the town where the orchard is. We want to stop there."

(If you remember, LovelyDaughter and I had tried to go to an orchard a couple of weeks ago, and hadn't been able to. Since this particular orchard was right on our way, I thought we could stop and get some orchard-fresh apples.)

And about THAT time, somebody said, "Oh, there's the exit for *orchard town*." As we went swinging merrily past. Darn. We missed it.

I began to berate myself, saying, "I shouldn't have slept. I should have watched the map. I should have paid attention. I should have..."

Hubby said, "Do you want to go to the orchard?"

"Well, yeah, but we can't get there now, so just forget it."

"Get the map," he said. He wanted me to see if there was a way from the next exit coming up to get back to the orchard. I checked; there was. Then suddenly, we were at the next exit, which he turned off on, while everything in the van flew to a better position for travelling.

We found ourselves on a beautiful winding country road. It was very nice, and I began to think our mistake would be rectified and all would be well.

I have not mentioned that the reason MB3 had been looking at the map (which I had not comprehended at the time, being partly asleep) was that he was checking for rest areas. Hubby needed to "Rest", and now I realized, so did I. Badly. As we're driving racily down this beautiful winding road, we're not only anxious to find our way to the orchard, we are also getting desperate for a "Rest" stop, which does not lend to patience and endearments.

At last we reach an intersection. The sign is a bit ambiguous. It says "junction ahead." I think maybe it means the interstate, which we have to get back to, because the orchard is right on the interstate exit. Hubby thinks we have to go to the right, through the small town. I want him to look at that sign I saw that he didn't see. He heads straight ahead, towards the ambiguous "junction."

Hubby says, "We're going the wrong way."

I say, "I never said this was the RIGHT way! I just wanted you to look at the sign."

He says, "You said this was the road. I think we should have turned," continuing to drive ahead.

I say, "Well, then GO BACK and GO THE RIGHT WAY!" adding, "I never said this was the RIGHT way! I just wanted you to look at the sign."

To which he replied, "You said this was the road. I think we should have turned."

So I said, "Well, then GO BACK, I never said.....!" (repeat several more times, with additions and a few minor variations.)

Finally, DrummerDude said in disgust, "Let's just forget it if you guys are going to fight."

Dad said, "Boys, this is called an adventure!"

MB3 said, with vehemence, "Then I never want to have an adventure!"

I said, unnecessarily, "Dad is the only person I know who, when we're lost, just KEEPS DRIVING!"

At which point, Hubby began swerving all over the road, causing everything in the van to fly to an even better position.


A couple of hours later we were sitting in chairs in a backyard waiting for the outdoor wedding to begin. We had eventually found the orchard, and, more importantly, the restrooms. We had bought some apples. We had even apologized to each other. And now it was a perfect Fall evening: warm with a hint of cool breeze, a few leaves falling, clear sunlight slanting from the west. We made small talk with the relatives sitting around us, noting that it was six o'clock: time for the wedding to begin.

Five minutes later, at 6:05 pm, a young man began to sing. As he sang, the ushers brought up the grandparents and parents. The flower girl and ring bearer walked down the aisle, and then one bridesmaid, and then the bride. All during the space of ONE average song.

The bride and groom stood under the arbor in front of the bride's uncle, who was dressed in black leather pants and vest, boots, and cowboy hat. He had a white ponytail and long beard, and had chains and keys hanging from his belt nearly to his knees.

He began to read-- in a monotone-- from an unfolded piece of paper.

"We are gathered here to join these two in holy matrimony do you S--- take the one standing before you to be your husband do you promise to love cherish and honor him till death do you part if so say I do place the ring on the third finger of his left hand"

At 6:14pm the newlyweds marched back down the aisle whence they came. Hubby leaned over and said to me, "He asked them, "Do you?" and they did!"

Since we had made up our squabble, and apologized to the boys for the "adventure," we could look with sympathy and hope at the two who had promised to "love cherish and honor till death." However, now that I think about it, I think the vows should also include something really practical, like "Do you promise to always make up when you fight?" 'Cause if you always make up, a nine-minute wedding can lead to many years of happy marriage.

And that reminds me, as of TODAY, Hubby and I have been married 26 years. Happy Anniversary to us. The minister asked us, "Do you?" and just like my cousin and her new husband, we did. May we have many years of squabble-free life together. But if we do squabble, may we always make up!


Lulu said...

Wow - 26 years! And that was the extent of your "argument?" I am impressed! GR and I were married 14 years this past September, and our arguments are just a bit less pleasant than yours!

I'm so glad that you made it to the apple orchard despite getting lost! I was soooo laughing at your conversation and the "rearranging" of items in the van.

And you make me so nostaligic about the making of sandwiches while traveling! My mom used to do that for my sister and me. Long gone are those days. Now it's just a quick stop at the BK Lounge or Mickey-D's. Not quite so memorable...

Happy anniversary!

Marti said...

One of the best demonstrations of the strength of any relationship is the ability of the people involved to discuss and forgive. There are no perfect people with which to have a relationship so as to avoid the need for that.

mom huebert said...

lulu-- Thank you for the anniversary greetings!

And the argument sure felt a lot more heated in person, which is probably why it's so funny to me written down!

carrie said...

awwww!!! Happy Anniversary!!!! Kris and I celebrated 9 this past August...

Sniz said...

This was such a neat post. I really enjoyed it. We have times like that too, where we argue over something that seems SOO important it's almost insurmountable at the time, and later seems so silly. And we always make up, too. It's coming up on 15 years for us in 2 weeks.
So Happy Anniversary to you and to us, and to every marriage that said "I do" and meant it. What a poignant closing to your story. I like how you made it all fit together in such a profound way.

mom huebert said...

carrie-- Congratulations!

sniz-- Thank you! I really appreciate your kind words. And congratulations on 15 years!

Qtpies7 said...

Oh that is so funny! I laughed at your husband swerving on the road and making things fly aruond the van! LOL
You should try OUR adventures, with seven kids in the van, lol. We are going to do it tomorrow with 8 kids, should be interesting.